


Too Stubborn and Too Strange

by patchworkofstars



Series: Anything You Can Do [1]
Category: Sanders Sides, Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 03:11:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13825236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patchworkofstars/pseuds/patchworkofstars
Summary: There’s just one small problem marring the otherwise happy household: Logan and Roman still aren’t getting along.The solution? To send them on a date together.They’ll have to stop arguing eventually, right?





	Too Stubborn and Too Strange

“I can’t believe I agreed to this”, grumbled Logan, as Virgil helped him choose between three subtly-different blue ties. “The prospect of an entire evening in the sole company of Roman is making me nauseous.”

“That’s butterflies.’ Virgil teased. “You’re just nervous.”

“Nonsense, I don’t get nervous. Unlike you, I am ruled by logic, and logic tells me this evening is going to be singularly unpleasant.”

Virgil shrugged. “Just give him a chance, Logan. I couldn’t stand him myself at first, but he won me over.”

“Indeed.” Logan frowned at Virgil over his glasses. “That fact still puzzles me. I simply cannot comprehend what you and Patton see in him.”

“Just try to get through the evening without killing each other. And wear this tie, it’s the shiniest. Roman likes shiny things.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “This is going to be an unmitigated disaster.”

* * * * *

“This is going to be a _disaster_ ”, moaned Roman, looking dubiously in the mirror at the white shirt and scarlet tie Patton had picked out for him.

Patton smiled encouragingly. “Don’t be silly, I’m sure you’ll have a great time. Logan’s a sweetheart once you get to know him, you’ll see!”

“But it’s _Logan_! What will we even _say_ to each other? Every interest I have, he dismisses as _frivolous_!”

“Just do your best”, Patton told him, “And try to listen to him at least a bit.”

“But what if he goes into one of his tedious lectures?”

Patton beamed. “Then you can do what I do: Kiss him on the nose and tell him he’s beautiful when he’s being clever!”

Roman shuddered. “I will do no such thing. Ugh, I don’t know _what_ you and Virgil _see_ in him.”

* * * * *

It had been Roman who’d created the vacation room, designed to allow them occasional days or evenings away from the house. With design help from the others, he’d given it different settings to mimic a variety of locations, allowing them to choose which they wanted each time. There was a theatre, naturally, but also a museum, a funfair, a petting zoo, an open hillside, and – tonight’s venue – a simple, romantically-lit room with a dinner table. Normally it felt cosy, but as Roman and Logan entered the room and sat awkwardly down, the lighting seemed gloomy and the room uncomfortably small.

Roman cleared his throat. “So, a whole evening of this”, he said with forced cheerfulness. “I’m sure it’ll fly by.”

“I can’t believe they really think this will work.”

“ _I_ can’t believe they’re having a _Disney_ marathon without me!

“I’m sure you’ll survive”, Logan said dryly. “You already know every Disney movie by heart, not to mention every Disney song.”

“I do indeed! Would you like me to serenade you?”

Logan shuddered. “Please don’t.”

 

They ate their meal in silence, but soon the silence grew too loud for Roman’s extrovert nature to bear. “There must be _something_ we can talk about!” he said desperately.

“Like what?”

“Like something we have in _common_. You know the others will never forgive us if we don’t at least _try_ to make this evening work!”

“That’s true”, Logan admitted, reluctantly, “But I don’t think there is anything for us to talk about. We’re too different. You are an optimist and I am a realist. You are an epicurean and I am a stoic.”

“ _You_ know what that means and _I_ don’t even care!” Roman waved a hand. “But seriously, Logan, we can’t be _that_ different, _really_. After all, we’re both parts of Thomas!”

“I can’t disagree with that.” Logan conceded.

“Yes!” Roman was warming to the theme. “We even have the same face! Obviously I wear it better, but still...”

Logan sighed, resisting the urge to beat his head gently against the nearest wall. “If we could put insults aside for a moment?”, he said. “I’ll admit you do have a point. Perhaps we’re simply opposite sides of the same coin, rather than separate currencies?”

“Mmm, I was thinking more along the lines of jam.”

“Jam?”

“You know. “ _I’m_ like the very _finest_ organic strawberry jam, while you’re… I don’t know, blackberry or something.”

“Loganberry.”

“What?”

“Nothing. But it’s true that we both enjoy Crofter’s.”

“Exactly! It’s just that while _I_ keep my appreciation to a healthy level, _you_ are _hooked_ on the stuff.”

“Crofter’s jam is not ‘stuff’”, said Logan, glaring. “Keep trying, Princey.”

Roman frowned in concentration, determined to think of something – anything – that Logan would accept.

“Wait, I know! We both adore Thomas’ friends!”

“Hmm.” Logan nodded. “Indeed. Joan in particular often works to temper Thomas’ more irrational impulses. I greatly appreciate their help with that.”

“Yes! And Leo is just so _beautiful_ , and Valerie’s voice is simply _perfect_ for princess songs… And Talyn’s makeup skills are _sublime_!”

“Mm… Those aren’t my priorities, but nevertheless I concur. Even so, appreciation of Thomas’ friends is something we also share with both Patton and Virgil, as aspects of Thomas. If you and I are to get along independently, we must find at least one interest unique to the two of us.”

Roman groaned, but considered for a moment. Then he snapped his fingers.

“We both enjoy rap battles!”

“Really?” Logan raised an eyebrow. “I’d have thought your enthusiasm would have waned after I obliterated you the last time.”

Roman flushed. “I’d have come up with something better if I’d known you’d be so _good_!”

“I’m ready for a rematch any time, if you don’t have the brains to know when you’re beaten.”

“Ugh. Why are you so _unbearable_? This is meant to be a _date_ , Logan, not a battle of wits!”

“Were it a battle of wits, there would be only one possible winner.”

Roman scowled. “If either of us wins this as a _battle_ , we’ll both lose it as a date. And if _you’re_ so clever, _you_ think of something we have in common.”

 

For a long moment Logan considered, mentally reviewing their past interactions for any relevant data. Then one particular exchange caught his attention.

“Hogwarts houses!” he said.

Roman frowned. “You mean we both like Harry Potter? But so do Virgil and Patton, and besides, we’d clearly be in totally different houses. _I_ would be in _Gryffindor_ , house of heroes, while you’d be a nerdy bit player in Ravenclaw.”

Logan ignored the insult. “I was referring to our shared sense of ambition”, he explained. “Our goals may be different, but we both pursue them with great determination. Neither Patton nor Virgil has that drive to achieve.”

“Oh~”, mused Roman. “You have a point there. We _do_ both seek to better ourselves, each in our own way. I suppose _your_ ambition is to be smarter than everyone?”

“That’s not strictly true, but never mind. I take it _your_ aim is to be the constant centre of everyone’s attention?”

For a moment, Roman hesitated. He could brush this off, agree with Logan, and let the brainbox look down on him for ever. Or he could take a risk and be honest. Perhaps Logan would still think he was stupid and hold him in contempt forever, but how different would that be from now? He took a deep breath.

“I want to be a star, yes”, he said. “I want to be celebrated for my _singing_ , my _acting_ , my _ideas_ , my _heroism_ … I want the whole _world_ to be in awe of my supreme talent!”

Logan rolled his eyes, but Roman hadn’t finished. He lowered his voice and looked down at his plate.

“I want… I _need_ everyone to love me”, he continued, “Because if they don’t, they might ignore and forget me. And without an audience, I’m nothing.”

Logan stared at him, trying to process the unfamiliar concept of Roman being vulnerable. It made him seem…oddly appealing, at least compared to his usual brashness.

“You’re not nothing, Roman”, he said at last. “You’re creative, and brave...and, yes, you can be foolish, but you could never be nothing. As for being forgotten, Virgil and Patton would never do that. And even if we don’t always get along, I could never forget you either.” He sighed. “And if I’m honest, as ambitions go, yours is no more unreasonable than mine.”

“Yours?” Roman looked up at him, curious. Logan nodded.

“I don’t expect you to understand this”, he said, “But I want to know everything”.

“Everything? _Everything_ everything?”

“ _Everything_. I want to know about each plant, each insect, each star. I want to know every language, so I can read every worthwhile book ever written in any of them. I want learn everything there is to know, so that I can comprehend all the workings of the universe.” He sighed again. “But that would take many lifetimes, and I only have one. And with every moment I live, the sum of all there is to learn increases.”

There was silence for a minute, as Logan gazed wistfully into the distance and Roman struggled to process what he’d just heard. This was a side to Logan he’d never been aware of before, and he wasn’t sure how to respond.

“But… You know so much!” he said at last, rather helplessly.

Logan shook his head. “What I know is nothing but a tiny droplet in the vast ocean of knowledge.”

“Nonsense!” declared Roman. “ _My_ knowledge may be a tiny droplet, but yours is at least a small pond!”

Logan blinked at him, open-mouthed for a moment. “Roman, that’s… That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me!”

“It is?” said Roman, taken aback. “Well… You deserve it!” To his amazement, Logan actually smiled.

“Thank you, Roman. I wish you success with your ambitions, and I promise I will continue to pursue my learning goals.” He leaned forward slightly, a gleam in his eyes. “After all, ‘Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.’”

Roman’s eyes widened. “That’s Shakespeare...” he said softly. “ _You_ know _Shakespeare_?”

“I may not understand theatre, but I appreciate his insights into the human condition.”

Roman shook his head, incredulous. “It seems I’ve underestimated you”, he admitted.

“And I you. So we have ambition and Shakespeare in common... And we established earlier that we both appreciate Harry Potter. So… Literature?”

Roman’s eyes sparkled. “ _Literature_.”

“Anything else?”

“If you like Shakespeare and rap battles, does that mean you like poetry?”

“Indeed, as long as it’s meaningful poetry.” Logan raised an eyebrow at Roman. “I take it _you_ enjoy tedious romantic fluff?”

“Heartfelt sonnets and epic fantasy sagas!” replied Roman, grinning.

“Fluff and nonsense. Precisely as I expected.”

“Wait at minute! Are we arguing or bonding here?”

Logan narrowed his eyes and smiled. “Can’t it be both?” he said.

The hint of flirtation made Roman pause. Perhaps there was a potential here he hadn’t considered before? It was a prospect he found he’d be happy to explore, but first he should give Logan a little push to confirm it. He leaned forward, just slightly, reducing the distance between them.

“I thought I was no match for you in a battle of wits?”

“Your arguments may not be intelligent, but their creativity can be entertaining.”

 _Fascinating_. Roman moved his hand slightly closer to Logan’s, resting on the table.

“My creativity entertains you?”

“Sometimes.” There was that smile again, and a definite hint of _something_ in Logan’s eyes.

Roman raised an eyebrow. “Anyone would think you _liked_ arguing with me.”

“Anyone would think you liked me back.”

 

Logan was definitely flirting with him. _Logan_ , of all people. The question now was what Roman would do about it, and the exhilaration he felt made the answer obvious. It was too bad Shakespeare hadn’t written any odes to hot intellectuals, but he could manage without. He was the Prince of Romance, after all, and he was more than a match for this kind of situation. He smiled to himself. It was time to turn on the charm, and possibly the nerd if he was lucky. He trailed his fingertips lightly across Logan’s hand.

“Would that I realised before tonight  
The constellations shining in your eyes  
The subtle humour lurking in your smile  
And fiery wit that sets my heart aflame.”

Logan frowned slightly. “I’m afraid I don’t recognise that quote”, he said.

“That’s because I just made it up. I’m _Creativity_ , remember?” He smiled, resting his hand lightly on Logan’s. “It’s little challenge for me to come up with verse on the spot, provided I have sufficient _inspiration_.”

He had the satisfaction of seeing Logan blush.

 

With his free hand, Logan adjusted his tie. He was getting rapidly out of his depth with all these _feelings_ suddenly swirling around, and he wasn’t sure what to do. He supposed he ought to think up some compliment for Roman, but creativity wasn’t his thing and logic wasn’t currently getting him anywhere. There had to be a way to make Roman feel appreciated without humiliating himself with an attempt at romantic poetry. And then he knew. He cleared his throat, pushed his glasses up his nose, and began.

“At its height the Roman empire was the most extensive political and social structure in Western civilisation, covering more than five million square kilometres or 1.93 million square miles.”

Roman opened his mouth and then closed it again, trying to keep up with this sudden shift.

“At its peak it had a population of approximately 60–70 million, with the city of Rome reaching more than one million inhabitants.” A small smile. “I knew all that and never realised…” He turned his hand to grasp Roman’s, “‘... _This_ was the noblest Roman of them all.’”

Roman leaned forward, his eyes never leaving Logan’s. “You know”, he said, “You really _are_ beautiful when you’re being clever.”

He was about to say more, but at that moment they both heard the faint but unmistakable sound of Patton singing along to _How Far I’ll Go_. Roman’s eyes flickered, and Logan could almost see the internal struggle. _Romance, or Disney? But romance! But Disney!_ He squeezed Roman’s hand and then released it.

“You can go and see the movie”, he said resignedly. “I’ll sit with you and watch it, if you like.”

Roman’s face relaxed into a relieved smile. “I’d like that, Logan”, he said. “And I’ll make it up to you _tenfold_ , I promise.” He grinned wickedly. “Any way you _want_ me to. I’m sure I can think of a whole _variety_ of ways to impress you.”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “Whatever you do, Princey, I can top it.”

Roman’s eyes gleamed. “I’d like to see you try.”

* * * * *

They hesitated by the door, neither sure whether to make a move, neither wanting to leave until they had. At last Roman, ever the bold one, decided to take the risk.

“May I kiss you?” he asked, trying not to sound nervous.

Logan looked at him mock-appraisingly over his glasses. “If you will allow me to kiss you back”, he replied.

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

The kiss wasn’t especially long, but it was far warmer than either of them would have predicted before tonight. When it was over they stood for a moment, arms still half around each other.

“What do you want to tell the others?” asked Logan. “You know they’re going to be insufferably smug about this.”

Roman grinned. “How about say the date was a disaster, so we’re going to try again next weekend?” To his relief, Logan smiled back.

“I like the way you think”, he said, “You should do it more often.” He winked at Roman to take the sting from his words, then turned and opened the door.

 

The others were still watching _Moana_ when they arrived, Patton cuddling Virgil at one end of the couch. “Hey, you’re back!” he cried when he saw them. “How did it go?”

“As promised, we didn’t kill each other”, Logan said solemnly.

Patton grinned. “Yay! In that case, d’you want to watch the rest of the movie with us? We can move if you two want to sit at opposite ends.”

Roman shook his head, hiding a smile. “No need”, he said. “I think we can manage to sit together without fighting.”

He sat down beside the others, and Logan fitted himself into the space at the end. After that, they sat watching the movie, and if the others noticed Roman sneak an arm around Logan, or Logan settle into his embrace, for once they had the discretion not to mention it.

**Author's Note:**

> “Too stubborn and too strange” - Julius Caesar, Act 1, Scene 2
> 
> “Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven” - Henry VI, Act 4, Scene 7.
> 
> “This was the noblest Roman of them all” - Julius Caesar, Act 5, Scene 5


End file.
